The lows just keep getting lower :(

I started off this week believing, that as a mother, things were at an all time low. A social worker visited me last Monday and basically said if the family didn't step in and help out for the 2 weeks of the October holidays then they would seriously consider taking the children away from us and putting them into care. As you can imagine I was gutted but after the initial shock I was determined to sort something out. I knew my sister was a no go as she has 3 kids already in a 2 bedroom house and she works night shift and leaves her own 2 little ones with her teenage son so it would be out of the frying pan and into the fire with them. My parents are obviously not willing to talk to me farless help so I decided to take my aunt up on her previous offer of ''doing anything she could to help out.'' So I came up with a plan. My aunt lives in Kidderminster and of course I live in Scotland but I explained about the kids being taken into care and asked her if she would come up and spend the school holidays at my Grampa's house and the kids could go and spend the holidays over there. My Grampa is 85 so isn't able to manage them on his own but with my aunt there it would have been fine. I was shocked and gutted when she said no as she was too tied up with her new lodger!!! I spent the whole day in a state knowing my life was slipping through my fingers and I could do nothing to stop it. By the next day tho I had toughened up and decided I would keep fighting and there had to be someone who would help me out. On Wednesday night my friend's daughter came down to see me and gave my kids a lift down too. I have maybe only met her half a dozen times but she is good fun and my kids think she is great cos she has purple hair and her tongue pierced. My mother and father in law also popped in that night. So I was explaining what had happened with my aunt and I basically said I was now just going to explain the situation to all my friends and impose on them to help out as much as they can. My friends daughter offered there and then to take my kids two days a week for dinner at night if it helped. And do you want to know something really disgusting? My mother and father in law sat there and said nothing. They did not offer to take them even a single day. They knew my kids could be taken into care if I couldn't get support from the family and they are not willing to take them. They truly do not deserve grandchildren.

On Friday I found out it would be 3 weeks at the earliest before homecare will be in place and I can get out of here. By that point I will have been in hospital close to 7 weeks!!!

Then on Saturday morning came the bombshell that has rocked my world beyond all belief. On Friday night my 10 year old daughter was sexually assaulted. My beautiful, innocent little girl has been ripped out her childhood and thrown into an adult world she does not belong. She was screaming in the street and luckily a neighbour was smoking on his doorstep and got to her quickly. He took her inside and calmed her down and since her 2 brothers were heading out to hunt down and kill the bastard who did it it was maybe a good job he was there. He offered to take her in a taxi to the hospital to see me but she got hysterical at this and would also not let anyone get the police. She did not want anyone else to know and she just wanted to forget it herself. One of my son's female friends came and helped her. She took her to bed and tucked her in and stayed with her till she slept. When I saw her she was subdued and very ashamed. Someone in my street phoned social services though and they came to the house and spoke to my son. They respected my daughters decision not to involve the police though they took the guys name who sexually assaulted her. When they were finished questioning my son they were happy enough with her care within the 4 walls of the house to leave her with her brothers. I truly thought they would just have taken her there and then but maybe for once common sense ruled and they left her in the security of her own home to heal. I have had a day pass out the hospital and she is with her dad tonight

First thing tomorrow I am certain my own social worker will be in again to see me and I might not be so lucky. So regardless on my own health it's time for me to go home. There is still no care put in place for me but my children's welfare matters more to me than anything else. I cant get back her innocence, I cant give her back her dignity and her self respect but I can be there to hold her when she cries, to comfort her when she is scared and remind her everyday she is worth more than the way he treated her. Maybe I know too much how she feels as I was raped when I was 8. I never told a soul so I understand her feelings to keep the police out. I guess history has a habit of repeating itself.

Tonight I am boiling with rage though at both my aunt and my mother and father in law. If they had only given a fuck about those kids my daughter might still have her innocence. I will never forgive them for the rest of my life. They failed a 10 year old girl and she has paid the price with her innocence and will keep paying it all her life and I know that cos I'm still paying mine

Oh btw I've had my house broken into and my car stolen. They broke into the house to get the car keys :( I know neither are important compared with my daughter but I just thought I would tell you