Chilling Words

My daughter is falling to bits again. She has such a fragile grip on her life and emotions that the slightest thing sends her to tears. I sat up with her last night to the small hours of the morning as she cried and cried. Then she said something that broke my heart. She told me her life was ruined and she wished she were dead. My poor wee girl. I asked her later if there was anything that could be done to make things better and she ran her finger over her wrist in a sawing motion. I hate the bastard who ruined her life to the state where she wants to kill herself. What scares me most is I know what she is going through and what has happened to her so far mirrors my own childhood too close for comfort. I was raped by a friend of my sisters in my own bedroom, in my own bed at 8 years old. I went through all the feelings she did and at 12 I tried to kill myself. Luckily for me the strongest medicine we had in our house was asprin but at all times I probably have enough pills to kill 10 big men. She knows what to take because her brother took them in a bid to take his life and almost succeeded. Am I going to find my little girl dead one day cos some sick bastard decided he wanted to force himself on a 10 year old girl. What do I do though? What do I say to make things better for her? I have never felt so useless in my life. At her age I should be able to fix all her problems with a kiss and a cuddle. Mum's are supposed to be able to kiss things better. In the 4 months since that happened I haven't made a single bit of progress with her and actually things are getting worse the deeper this gets into her head. I have actually found myself praying to a god of some sort that he doesn't take her away from me. She is such a beautiful, loving, helpful, wonderful child. She has a lot to offer the world. Please let her find the strength to get through this. I'm begging

Scotland is a bit of a superstitious country and I was brought up with a lot of superstition and it's hard when you have been brought up that way to let them go. It was always said when a person's picture fell off the wall they were going to die. I have seen this happen whether it was just a coincidence or not. The night after my daughter said she wanted to kill herself her photo fell off the wall and smashed. An accident? Bad timing? Or a shadow of something yet to come? I feel sick to the pit of my stomach :(