I have eventually got hold of the police officer who was assigned my daughter's case after the child protection unit finished with it. He had been on secondment for the last 6 weeks which is why I never managed to get hold of him. I eventually got him on Tuesday morning though and he sprang to action. He interviewed my son's friend who was a witness on Wednesday and interviewed my son yesterday. I found out today that my daughter will not need to go through further questioning but I will be required to make a statement instead telling the police what she has told me. They do not want to put her through the further trauma of questioning which is a huge relief for her. The outcome though is this guy will be arrested at the weekend on a charge of lewd and lascivious conduct. The likely hood is he will be released on bail with a lot of conditions, like he cant go near the school or bother her anywhere. If he does he will be immediately re arrested and wont get bail. I was speaking with my daughter yesterday and for the first time I asked her about his face though and what she described chilled me to the bone. She described his eyes as half open, with his eye lids lowered and he was looking at her through these lowered lashes and blinking very slowly. What she described was an aroused, lustful, horny look although she doesn't know that but it broke my heart. I said to her give me a few seconds then look at my face and I put my best effort into showing her a horny face, which is kinda difficult when looking at a child, and when she looked up she said that's what he looked like mummy. I felt like someone had plunged me into icy water. How can any man look at a 10 year old girl and be aroused??? I just cant understand men.
I've hardly slept in days now just waiting for what kind of retaliation we are gonna be hit with for this. The guy himself is a drug dealer and so is his mum and brother. His brother worries me cos he is a real psycho and very violent. I keep imagining them pouring petrol through my letter box and setting the house on fire. I think I will be lucky if all they do is smash my windows. Where I sleep in the kitchen though is right in front of a full length, floor to ceiling window and I keep imagining glass shattering around me as I sleep. My kids are all away this weekend as it's my youngest son's birthday and am terrified at the thought of being on my own but at the same time I'm so glad they are away. I thought maybe I could go and stay in a hotel or something but then I would be leaving my house with no protection. So I guess I just have to ride it out but I dont think I will sleep. I've never felt so scared in my life though. I cant let the kids know though cos they are in a bad enough state without me worrying them even further. It makes me feel so issolated though and I wish there was just one person in my life who could share this burden with me and help me carry it. But where do wishes get me?
Everyone is very tightly strung just now but what happened last night was just one more hassle I didn't need. My oldest son was a bit stressed after the police interview. He is also struggling with huge feelings of guilt. Guilt that he wasn't there to protect her in the first place and guilt that he didn't believe her, just for the simple fact he did not think it was possible for a guy to do that to a little girl. He may be almost 18 but he has my innocent, trusting nature and he just couldn't see it. He thought that the guy was just lost on his way to the toilet and believed his sister to be attention seeking. When his friend eventually told us, what he later went on to tell the police, it hit my son hard. And guilty men usually always go on to get angry and hit things but I never thought it would be me. My son lost it last night and was so wound up he was ready to go and kill the guy who did this to his wee sister. I tried to restrain him by putting my arms round his waist and pulling him back with all my strength and I managed but I took his elbows to my ribs and his fist to my face. His friend also took 2 bad punches to his face. It got worse as I ended up trapped underneath him as he took the first seizure. He took about 10 seizures altogether and his friend and me tried to hold him down as he was thrashing about so badly but every time he came round he was so confused and he lashed out at us for holding him down. He smashed the toilet and a door and the bill for that alone was £200 and that's me doing the work myself. As for me, I have a bruised eye, both cheeks are swollen and bruised, I think I have fractured my collar bone, my ribs are sore and numerous other bruises and scrapes. I hurt so badly and that's through a hell of a lot of painkillers. What I don't know is if he even remembers a thing about it. He hasn't said a word. I haven't slept as my son eventually did escape last night by jumping out an upstairs bedroom window and was gone till the small hours of the morning. Where he went I do not know but he hadn't been fighting so that's atleast something good.
I am so much on edge just now it is awful. I'm not sure where the next explosion will come from. My son, my daughter or a whole gang of drug dealers and junkies set to do me or my house in or god forbid my kids? My oldest son took a lot of flak last October when it first happened from friends of this guys so it's gonna be a lot worse this time. Wish me luck please. I really need it
Just a wee update here. My daughter's attacker was charged this morning with lewd and lascivious conduct and released on an undertaking with conditions not to approach any member of our family. He appears in court on the 12th of March. Just need to keep our fingers crossed that the justice system does not let us down, Oh and I fitted a new toilet tonight. Did it single handed and no leaks. My body hurts beyond belief but I guess it kept me busy while the kids are away
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